Before Dying

Fred was very old, sick, and doctors said he would not l and dying. There was an elderly man at home in his bed, dying. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking in the kitchen downstairs,…

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Tax Forms

Tax day, April 15, was looming when an elderly woman showed up at the IRS. She said she required a thick stack of tax forms. “Why so many?” the clerk asked. “My son is stationed overseas,” she said. “He asked…

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Violent Bartender

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur); “Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.” So, the bartender does just that and hands the…

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Ventriloquist

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out…

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Holy Crap!

A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation. There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he’s on his way to The Royal York Hotel. The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park. “What’s that?”…

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Surprise Birthday

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As…

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Inheritance

When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful…

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Dreamland

A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages. One extremely hot day some of the pupils fell asleep…

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